What we call psychological "disorder" is actually not disordered, neither unruly nor chaotic. Disorder characterizes a mind or brain that is highly ordered, organized and predictable. It is constrained, over-controlled and results in all the symptomatic suffering that comes from the trembling of a system which is overwhelmed by fighting to maintain and to overcome self-made limits. I propose that dis(apart from, other than)order is more rightly called dys(badly, ill)order. Dysorder, then, is a kind of control which is not missing, but improperly applied.
For example, a client who was typical of those I've met who experienced panic attacks, came to try neurofeedback for relief. She described a sense of a continual need to push away, or hold down an advancing terror. As the neurofeedback training began, she quickly relaxed, and let down her guard. That is, she let go of the pressure she habitually maintained to hold down the rising discomfort. Within a few moments, with her eyes closed, this terror started to bear down on her in the form of a train barreling toward her. This time, she didn't run or fight it. As the train overran her, she became exhilaratingly aware that the train, her terror, was a mirage that only had power when she struggled against it. She thrilled at the visceral relief, and at regaining her power, her freedom in the release of such exhaustive efforts. The panic attacks haven't returned.
Neurofeedback presents us with information about what our brain is doing, right now. Revealed, in particular, is our dysordered aspect of self. That is, neurofeedback is a mirror specifically tuned to reflect the efforts we make to constrain our experience. The information, the “feedback” draws us out of our particular mirage, our struggle, and leads us back to who and what we are in the deepest and truest sense: the pure open sky of conscious presence. When we try to refuse to feel the train that threatens us, the value of the feedback information is that it compels us to forgo what we are creating, in favor of Creation itself. We don't need to, nor can we control all of what comes to us. We can respond most appropriately to what is in front of us. Moment by moment, neurofeedback presents us with the existential dichotomy between that which is most not us, our attempts to deny and change what is, and that which is most essentially us, our awareness of our special place in the richness of this moment. It is literally a tap on the shoulder - “Open your eyes, take a good look at that train...What do you want to do now?”
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